When trust is broken, love is hard, and friends act like enemies. When advice is refused, love is invisible, lies are large, faith is small, hope is weak, and bitterness is strong, what do you do? How do you function when you have been wronged, betrayed, falsely accused, or stabbed in the back? All you have done is what you knew was right, yet it was not that way. Doing what is right is not always popular, even in the Baptist circle. What people ask for they do not always want, and what they need to hear and what they want to hear are very different things. “Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth? (Galatians 4.16) The Bible says to expect trouble in this life. John 16.33, “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation…” We will without a doubt have anguish, burdens, persecution, tribulation, trouble, and pressure in the world. It should not be a surprise when it comes, but rather we should be prepared it for when it does come. To know how to respond, our first place should always be His Word.
Genesis 37-39 describes the life of Joseph. Joseph was a man who went through great trouble, yet continually had a right response through it all. Joseph did not live an easy life. For starters, he had problems with the relationships in his family. His brothers, it says in Genesis 37.4, hated him and could not speak peaceably to him. They stole his coat, threw him into a pit, and sold Joseph. (Genesis 37.18-28) Joseph did not bring this treatment on himself. Genesis 39.2-6 describes the character that Joseph lived out. He did not deserve the mistreatment of his brothers, we would say. Joseph lived a righteous life that was evident to others and the Lord blessed him, still he was mistreated, and wronged. Genesis 29.2 says how the Lord was with Joseph. Not only that, but the Lord’s presence was evident to those around him (39.3). He was prosperous (39.3), he worked hard; he was a servant (39.4), he received the blessings of the Lord in his life (39.5), and he was a goodly, well-favored person (39.6). He lived a life that was in line with God’s will, yet still endured such mistreatment by others. Later as he brought as a slave, his master’s wife daily tempts him to sin. Joseph refused, recognized it as the sin it was, and ran from it. However, through it he was framed and falsely accused. (Genesis 39.11-18) How despicable?! He did what he knew was right, and she drug his name through the dirt. “And it came to pass, when his master heard the words of his wife, which she spake unto him, saying, After this manner did thy servant to me; that his wrath was kindled. And Joseph’s master took him, and put him into the prison, a place where the king’s prisoners were bound: and he was there in prison.” (Genesis 39.19-20) Despite what his master had seen in Joseph’s life; the obvious presence of the Lord and trust that he had for Joseph, he just throws him into prison. Did nothing Joseph did earlier mean anything? There is no mention of Joseph defending himself. Does his master not doubt this accusation even a little? Does he not know Joseph after all this time? Yet even in the prison, (39.23) the Lord was with him, and that which he did, the LORD made it to prosper. Even in prison, the butler and baker had dreams they did not understand. (40.5-9) They told them to Joseph and he told them what they needed to hear, not what they wanted to hear. Joseph asked the butler to help him when he was released. (40.23) …yet did not the chief butler remember Joseph, but forgat him. Ultimately, Joseph was brought out of prison, and restored to a higher position than before. Even though he was falsely accused, betrayed, and stabbed in the back, he never retaliated despite the authority to do so. Another example would be in 2 Corinthians as Paul describes what he had been through. 2 Corinthians 11.23-30, “Are they ministers of Christ? (I speak as a fool) I am more; in labours more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequent, in deaths oft. Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one. Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep; In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness. Beside those things that are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the churches. Who is weak, and I am not weak? who is offended, and I burn not? If I must needs glory, I will glory of the things which concern mine infirmities.” He was turned against everywhere he went, many of whom he only desired to help. 2 Corinthians 12.15, “And I will very gladly spend and be spent for you, though the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved.” The more he loved, the less he was loved in return. They misinterpreted love, and did not accept his advice. It did not stop there. 2 Corinthians 12.7-8; “And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that is might depart from me.” Paul was then given a thorn in the flesh which he asked the Lord to take away three times. On top of all he has and is facing outwardly, his health then fails. 2 Corinthians 12.9-10, “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” After all that the difficulty he has described, he then states that His grace is sufficient, and that he takes pleasure in all of these things as they reveal his own weakness and His God’s strength. 2 Corinthians 4.8-9, “We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Perseuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;” He did not use his troubles as a springboard into discouragement. In verse 17 he refers to it as our light affliction. “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;” Paul’s response in the face of these problems was consistent and right. But how do we face situations that are often ‘less’ than the ones Paul or Joseph faced, and come out the other side better? What should be our response when we are mistreated, falsely accused, or wronged? What should our defense be? How do we respond when in telling the truth in love to the purpose of edifying backfires? Be humble. You could be wrong. Proverbs 14.12, “There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.” You may be passionate about where you stand, but you can be passionately wrong. Even if you are right, you need to keep your heart in the right place. To what good is proving you are right? Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right. Galatians 5.14, “For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” Be humble and consider how you would want to be approached if you were the one who had wronged another. Instead of becoming prideful in trying to prove that you are right, stay humble and allow the Lord to work in their hearts. After all, pride is concerned with who is right while humility is concerned with what is right. Pride will get in the way of what is right and correcting the problem. Don’t retaliate. Give it to Him. Exodus 14.14, “The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.” There’s a desire to become defensive, or prove your point. You may very well be right, but being right will get you nothing. Trust in the sovereignty of God and allow Him to be the judge of the situation. Do not become a hypocrite, give it to the Lord and allow Him to control it. Genesis 50.20, “But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.” God’s will ultimately will be brought to pass. Even through false accusations and mistreatment, God desires that good will be brought from it and He be glorified. Retaliation will only add fuel to the fire and put you in the wrong. Stay in the way of blessings. Proverbs 11.9, “An hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbour: but through knowledge shall the just be delivered.” Romans 12.19, “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” 1 Peter 3.9, “Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing” 1 Thessalonians 5.15, “See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men.” Luke 6.27, ”But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you” Galatians 5.17-26, “This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.” Forgive and refuse bitterness. Forgiveness is essential to the Christian life. We forgive because we are commanded to and because we are forgiven by God. Matthew 6.12, “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors”.. Hebrews 12.15 “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;” Forgiveness is letting go of any anger, bitterness, and desire for revenge. It is wishing God’s blessings on those who have done you wrong. Romans 12.19-20, “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. “ Ephesians 4.26-32, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 2.7-9, “That in the ages to come he might show the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” God’s great love and mercy provided the grace of Salvation. He showed to me exceeding and abundant grace in His kindness. I did not earn this gift, in fact I did the opposite of anything deserving to receive it at all. If Christ in His perfectness displayed such a form of love and grace upon me, how much then should I display a mirrored sense of love upon others – deserved or undeserved?! Be quick to forgive, but slow to trust.. A single lie discovered is enough to create doubt in every truth expressed. Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair. John 2.23-25, Now when he was in Jerusalenn at the Passover, in the feast day, many believed in his name, when they saw the miracles which he did. But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men, And needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man. That word commit in the middle of verse 24 comes from the word pisteuo. It means to have faith, to credit, or by implication, to entrust; to believe, commit (to trust), put in trust with. Christ was the most loving, forgiving man that ever lived, but he did not trust everyone, he understood human nature. Forgiveness should be generously given to all, but trust must be earned. In other words, God commands us to forgive those who have harmed us. We must not seek revenge- we must let go of hurt and anger. But God does not command us to immediately trust those who have harmed us. Many people believe that in order to forgive the must completely trust the one who wronged them, as if nothing happened. This is simply not true. Trust must be earned. Love all, trust few, do wrong to none. – Shakespeare. Let your life be the proof. Proverbs 20.11, “Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.” May your life preach more loudly than your lips. – William Ellery Channing What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say. – Ralph Waldo Emerson Let your life be your defense. Let the Lord fight for you. Your name may be drug through the dirt such as Joseph’s, but if you continue doing what is right, no one will believe it. Live in such a way that God can bless you. Take pleasure in the struggle. The struggle is part of the story. Without it, there could be no growth, no glory, no gain. 1 peter 4 . 12-13 “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy. “ John 16.33, “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” The end result of all we may go through will be joy; He will be glorified. Accept the struggle knowing that you will learn and grow through it, and that it is another opportunity for the Lord to be glorified in the end. So how should we respond to such conflict? With humility, unconditional love, and forgiveness. Not retaliating, but giving it over to the Lord and allowing Him to be your defense by living a life that can be blessed, as well as recognizing the potential growth and change gained through it. Despite what others may do, make sure your heart remains in the way of blessing and is a heart of forgiveness and love. A wrong heart can ruin any good action. Psalm 123:23-24, “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
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