I'll turn myself into an open book for y'all. As I am writing this, I am really hurting. I didn't get what I want, I don't have what I think I need, I can't find answers I'm seeking, I'm in denial of a situation, and I am simply overwhelmed. Now when I find myself in a place such as this, I typically do one of two things; nothing, or everything. I either curl up in a ball and push it all away, or I work....hard. Especially in the form of exercise. Being that my friend was gone the past few days, I couldn't handle to do nothing, so I did everything. I don't think I have stopped for the past three days, even though I can tell it beat me. There hasn't been a moment that I haven't been doing something. I'm about to ready to go out and make it 3 workouts and 6 miles for the past few days. And that's for someone who's just gotten back into it. Much time has been spent in a heart of prayer and seeking Him... but it still hurt.
Why do I do this to myself? I pick up everything and try to carry it around in my own strength. I see everything that needs to happen and attack it all at once, then get frazzled when I can't work it all out. Holding myself and my work to a standard of perfection, and just being crushed if I can't do it right. I don't always have control over what happens. Yet I have this picture in my head of what I want. And when those two don't mesh, I'm hurt. That's something that's hard for me. Accepting that my ideas and reality rarely match. Now I know I am not the only one that this describes. 1 Corinthians 10:13, "There hath no temptation taken you bust such as is common to man..." We all have moments of fear, being overwhelmed, disappointment, hurt, or need. That's not the problem, it's how we deal with them. So, I just wanted to share this part of Job 37 I read last night with y'all. The whole chapter is incredible. but I thought it was very fitting and encouraging. :) Proverbs 37. At this also my heart trembleth, and is moved out of his place. Hear attentively the noise of his voice, and the sound that goeth out of his mouth. He directeth it under the whole heaven, and his lightning unto the ends of the earth. After it a voice roareth: he thundereth with the voice of his excellency; and he will not stay them when his voice is heard. God thundereth mearvellously with his voice; great things doeth he, which we cannot comprehend. For he saith to the snow, Be thou on the earth; likewise to the small rain, and to the great rain of his strength. He sealeth up the hand of every man; that all men may know his work....By the breath of God frost is given: and the breadth of the waters is straitened. Also by watering he wearieth the thick cloud: he scattereth his bright cloud: And it is turned round about by his counsels: that they may do whatsoever he commandeth them upon the dance of the world in the earth. He causeth it to come, whether for correction, or for his land, or for mercy. Hear unto this, O Job: stand still, and consider the wondrous works of God. Dost thou know when God disposed them, and caused the light of his cloud rto shine? Dost thou know the balancings of the clouds, the wondrous works of him which is perfect in knowledge?... Ah, can I really say anything else? Really, read it again, it's amazing! Just stop. And consider everything He is doing that you aren't even aware of. It's quite incredible.
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8/24/2014 06:13:07 am
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Lizzy parkerMarriage.
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January 2023
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