Everyone has a story. While each one is unlike the next, there is a common thread throughout. Deep within each pair of eyes are countless silent stories waiting to be heard. I desire to draw them out. No one has gotten to where they are alone. Each experience has molded them into the person they have become. There is always a trail of decisions, influences, and experiences which contributed to their growth or lack thereof. Every well-known story of their life is but merely the cover; it is not the end of the story. To many lives, the rest of the pages have been ripped out, hidden, and locked up never to be read by human eyes, entire chapters are missing, or lines have been scribbled out. Beginning to believe some of the pages have never been written, the story continues. As hard as one could try to destroy the memory of their existence, the words were still written and are consistent reminders of an unwanted past. With each word permanently etched into their heart, it is not a story that could easily be forgotten as it was personally lived. This is the story of their life, your life, and my life in its rawest form. We all have those moments in time that we would rather forget and would go back and change in a heartbeat if we could. Poor decisions we have made, failures we have caused whether intentional or not, or painful experiences and trials cause us to remove them from our story and pretend they never happen. The very thought reminds us of our depraved condition, our propensity to the flesh, and how cruel and unfair life can be. The memories hurt. It is a constant battle between remembering and forgetting. Consequently, these memories get locked away. Trying to forget the past is like shoving into a cabinet and shutting the door. Basically like cleaning the room as a child and shoving things into the closet. However, at some point, the door flies open and all the contents tumble on top of you and the floor into a huge, sometimes painful mess. Panic mode kicks in and you manage to gather up the mess before anyone sees, shovel it back into the cabinet, and lean against the door until it once again clamps shut. The cycle continues over and over. Betrayal, abuse, loss, and regretful sinful decisions breed anxiety, fear, guilt, and doubt. The process can leave us disconnected, in denial, bitter, or angry.
Sometimes you cannot fight the shadows, they just come. Instead you light the memories with the brightness within that only He can bring. A certain darkness is needed to see the stars. Darkness is not the enemy, but rather your response to the darkness. As one once said, “It’s not the load that breaks you, it’s the way you carry it.” In our strength we cannot carry the weight of times past, we know this. “And Jesus looking upon them saith, with men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible.” (Mark 10:27) However, even in our weakness there is His strength. “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Corinthians 12.9) The late Henry Moorhouse, a noble evangelist, was once in very "trying circumstances." His little daughter, who was paralyzed, was sitting in her chair as he entered the house with a package for his wife. Going up to her and kissing her, he said, "Where is mother?" "Mother is upstairs." "Well, I have a package for her." "Let me carry the package to Mother." "Why, Minnie, dear, how can you carry the package? You cannot carry yourself." With a smile on her face, Minnie said, "Oh, no, Papa; but you give me the package, and I will carry the package, and you will carry me." Taking her up in his arms, he carried her upstairs — little Minnie and the package, too. And then "the word of the Lord came" to him that this was just his position in the work in which he was engaged. He was carrying his burden, but was not God carrying him?” (Christian Herald) Life is so much easier when we allow ourselves to be held by the one who keeps the stars in place. He will hold our hand; He will carry us and our burden. He has everything under control! He knows everything we go through. He knows how it affects us. It's such a comfort to know that the One Who made the universe and keeps the stars in place, the planets in orbit, and the universe intact, holds me. He's got me, and He's got you. As the thinking of attempting to forget past experiences like shoving them into a box comes to play, it is simply proof that we are trying to handle it in our own hands and trying to carry it on our own. Denial is our way of handling the situation, but it is most definitely not His. We must give it to Him. This does not have to be explained to us. We know all of this, but do we truly believe it? We say we do, we have experienced it in the past, yet this time we doubt the validity of His promises. Sometimes we need to go back to the basics to renew a right perspective. We need to renew a right view of God God is good. There is nothing He is or does that is not good. No experience will ever face will not be able to be used of God for good. God is omniscient. God knows everything and His knowledge is complete. He has all knowledge and His understanding is infinite. He knows and understands everything you could ever experience. “Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding is infinite.” (Psalm 147.5) God is omnipotent. God is able to bring to pass everything that He chooses. He has no external limitations. Genesis 18:14 simply asks, “Is anything too hard for the LORD?” God is omnipresent. God’s omnipresence speaks to the fact that He is present in all places at all times. While God is in Heaven on His throne, He is also present in every place. Proverbs 15:3 says that His eyes are in every place. Psalm 139.1-12 speaks of our ever present God. In verse 7 it asks, “Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?” The Bible speaks of our God who will never leave us. God is immutable. By nature, God is absolutely unchanging. For this reason, the attributes He possessed before the creation of the world are the same ones He has today. Malachi 3:6 says, “I am the LORD, I change not...” Everything He is or ever has been, He still is. God is holy and righteous. God’s holiness is manifested in His righteousness. Because He is holy, He is righteous. This attribute of righteousness is the way His holiness is expressed when dealing with men. Psalm 116:5 and Ezra 9:15 say that God is righteous. Many verses declare His righteousness (Exodus 9:23-27; Psalm 129:4; 145:17; Jeremiah 12:1; 1 John 1:9) God is sovereign. God’s sovereignty is how He rules His creation. This is what makes Him free to do what He knows is best for us. Though He is in complete control, He has also given us a free will to obey or reject His leading. God is love. If there is one attribute that people love to embrace, it is the fact that God is love. 1 John 4 talks extensively about God’s love. Not just that God has love, but that He is love. God is merciful. God’s mercy has been defined as God not giving us what we deserve. We, as sinners, deserve eternal punishment away from His presence, yet in His mercy He has chosen to offer us a way for salvation. Not only is God merciful in salvation, but every moment of our existence. Lamentations 3.22, “It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.” Through renewing a right view of God, we receive a right view of ourselves We are selfish, undeserving humans who seek after our own comfort. We are not good people who do bad things once in a while, we are perpetually wicked people who only do right by the grace of God. We tend to believe we have certain "rights" in life. We have the "right" to live in comfort. We have the "right" to be financially stable. We have the "right" to be free from trials. We have the "right" to be treated a certain way, and when that does not happen, we stand looking at what's left behind and wonder what happened. Instead of learning from the experience, we allow the experience to push us down. This is where the right view and response of the problem comes in. Forgive – When we ask for forgiveness, we are forgiven. We need to forgive others who have wronged us. " For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matthew 6.14-15). We need to forgive ourselves. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1.9). If our holy, righteous, perfect God will forgive us, how are we any better to hold onto the fault and guilt? Learn- Learn from experiences. Everything is making us into who He wants us to be. I think of the lyrics to the song Whatever it Takes, "For whatever it takes to draw closer to You, Lord That’s what I’ll be willing to do. And whatever it takes to be more like You, That’s what I’ll be willing to do." Be grateful for those experiences because they are opportunities to become more like Him if you allow them to be. Someday you can look back and say, "Yesterday's trials give me strength for today, And they serve to remind me that He'll make a way, The night-time is over and now I can see, That yesterday's battles are today's victory...." In personal experiences, I am grateful for the experiences I have been through because I have been able to experience the presence and grace of God in my life in ways I would have never been able to understand otherwise. I have been able to learn a greater sense of faith, forgiveness, trust, and love. I can rest in knowing that all things work together for good. Even if I did not understand it, God has not ceased to use those moments. He has used them to teach me things that would be impossible for me to learn otherwise. He has used it, I believe, as a means for me to prayerfully be a blessing to others and better be able to help the ones I work with in the future. Romans 8.28, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." God meant it all for good. I was placed in the situations I have and there is a reason for it. I am completely safe in the palm of His hand. All along His hand has been guiding me bringing me to situations where I can learn and trust Him. Anything that comes into my life has not come without the Lord allowing it. Anything that comes into my life, He will provide the grace and the strength the get through it. 2 Corinthians 12.9, “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” I did not understand these verses for a time and nearly got angry over trying to find out how to apply them because I felt as if it was not true for my life. Where was this said grace and strength? But today they have become two of the most precious verses to me because once I finally “got” them, I never let them go. There is a great joy in discovering the reality of an extremely personal God. As that relationship builds, life takes on a whole new, higher, greater dimension of living. Through it we have received a greater calling and a purpose for this life. I was given this life and called to live it to serve Him. It is full of human impossibilities that are required to make it through. The rain still falls around me at times, but I have a song in my heart and have learned to sing and skip in the rain. The storm may not always be calmed, but your heart can be.
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January 2023
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