I recall another moment while we were traveling in South Dakota last month. Jack was ordering presidential ice cream and coffee, while I was waiting at the end of the counter with Jaelynn in the stroller. Jaelynn caught the lady at the counters eye and she began to work to get the baby’s attention. Jaelynn was not about giving this lady any response. Even the adjusting of the stroller resulted in the turn of her head. Jaelynn continued to look at me at refused to acknowledge this other lady. Now if my kid was any older, the result would have been different, but she was 3 months, so she got a free pass. 😂
The lady then said something that I have thought about many times since. She said, “Oh, it’s okay. She’s only got eyes for you, Mama.” I’ve heard that phrase so many times before, but it actually meant something in that moment. So many moments after I would watch as my baby would respond, only to my presence. I wouldn’t do anything, but if I caught her eye, she would flash a smile. That’ll get you in the feels real quick. 😭 The first time she notices I’m standing over her bed in the morning. When she realizes she’s got my attention while she’s chilling in her swing. Just the little smiles and giggles, and the way her face lights up when she sees me sometimes. Y’all, that’s MY baby. And I’m her Mama. 😭🥰 I’m so in love with it and I can’t even put it into words. But you know, there are those moments in motherhood. The ones that make you feel like a superhero; like you’re actually doing something right. But, those are at times overshadowed by the moments that aren’t as easy, pleasant, or rewarding. Ones that are filled with failure, impatience, or frustration. Being a mom is e x h a u s t I n g. It’s not pretty. Not everything is perfect. There’s drool, spit up, diapers, and more spit up. There’s criticism, judgement and expectations; guilt, frustration, and inadequacy. Late nights, early mornings, sleep regressions, fussy days...and nights, colicy evenings. Laundry, dishes, bottles, more laundry, scattered toys, and messes made by tiny tornadoes that live in your home. There is NO “perfect mom”. No one has it all together all the time. If someone has tiny, needy people, but also has everything spotless, organized, and together all the time, I’d like to meet them and take notes. 😂 At first, I think you lose yourself in motherhood. You don’t recognize yourself, you don’t feel enough. As much as becoming a Mom has changed me, it’s changed me for the better. A better me. A more patient me. A more loving me. A more snuggly me. A softer me (still working on being fluffy). A me that depends on Him ever more. A better me because of a tiny little person. Motherhoods is exhausting, ugly, and messy. But it’s also refreshing, beautiful, and rewarding and I wouldn’t change it for anything. As hard and messy the stage of life you are in is, hold on one more night. Change that diaper. Rock a little longer. Give one more kiss. Read that book. Wash one more load of laundry. Take that picture with your kids (even if you’re not at your best). Go to the park. Play dress up. Let them help you (even if they don’t do it “perfect”). Because God gave those kids to you, and they won't be little forever. It reminds me of a thought from Acts 4:13. “Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were unlearned and ignorant men, they marvelled; and they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus.” No matter how untrained or incompetent I feel to mother my children, that doesn’t matter. The Lord will give me boldness to do the things He has called me to do. And He has called me to be a mother. While I truly want to mother well, above all, I want people (including my family) to recognize that I have been with Jesus. The Lord knew I wasn’t going to be the “perfect mom”, but He still saw fit to give her to me. Motherhood is the hardest thing, but oh, is it worth it. And while there can be times that I’m focused on the details, and perfection, and see my failures, or a messy house... she’s not going to remember the un-mopped floors, or the windowsill that needs dusting, or if the towels were folded "just so". She is going to remember those times we read together, or “that one time when we went to the park.” Because in this sense, “She’s only got eyes for you.” ❤️
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Lizzy parkerMarriage.
Motherhood. Ministry. Missions. Archives
January 2023
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