Marriage and divorce are both common experiences. In America, statistically speaking, more than 90 percent of people marry by age 50. Healthy marriages benefit not only the couples themselves, society as a whole, but also children; growing up in a happy home protects children from many common problems of varying degrees. However, at minimum, 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The marriage rate is about 6-7 per 1,000 population while the divorce rate is 3-4 per 1,000. I found and read a 30+ page "Marriage and Divorce Rate Report" on just the state of Oklahoma. Being a visual person, it was eye opening to me to see the numbers broken down into the specific areas and counties. Many counties would issue more divorce papers than marriage licenses in a year. Society as a whole encourages a "common law" style marriage, or a trial and error at best. It is nothing for someone to walk by and jokingly tell me, "divorce him." "Jokes" of divorce are thought as normal, while they leave me stunned. I couldn't imagine a day without my Love. As some of you may have noticed, I have changed the settings of comments on this blog, and have a closer hold on those who follow accounts. I learned the hard way that not everyone is in support of a godly view of marriage. Some will do whatever they can to discourage those who are aspiring to have one. How sad that it has come to this. I received private messages leading up to the wedding, on my wedding day, and for months following trashing me, my husband, and anything else they could. These messages did not discourage me, but what pity I had on them for the evident lack of godly marriages that surrounded them. Some of the things that were said have stuck with me though and only strengthened our marriage. Statements that - through some filters - essentially say we can't make it and will be divorced within a year or two; those statements are completely accurate. On our own, we absolutely cannot have a godly marriage; In our own power, we cannot build a healthy relationship; With my own strength, I cannot keep my marriage together. I cannot keep my marriage together. Only He can. My heart hurts for those with marriages on rough waters, or those ending in separation or divorce. Something as beautiful as marriage that God intends to be forever - when that is taken apart, pain and destruction is inevitable. There is no other result. If you are in that category, no marriage is too far gone that He can't restore. No relationship is so wounded that He can't heal.
There are many things that stand our way of keeping our marriages together... + Communication + Expectations + Selfishness + Pride + Unhealthy Dominance +Children +Finances +Jealousy I always thought of myself as the duct tape of relationships. Peacemaker, middle man, try to fix everything/hold it all together. But I fail. Every time. That is no way to live. It is an exhausting and frustrating existence. It is not us who can "work things out". Certainly it takes effort on our part, but He is that One that holds us together, not me. I can’t fix everything. You can't fix everything. You can't make it past your first year, second year, or ninety second year of marriage together without Him. He must be the central point of your marriage. This isn't trial mode, this is the real deal. So don't try and make it on your own.
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Lizzy parkerMarriage.
Motherhood. Ministry. Missions. Archives
January 2023
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