These posts have been written many times in my mind, but I finally wrote them to post. :) Recently, I have gone through Pinterest pages of Christian teenagers I know. It’s very much a downer to do so. You think you know someone until you see their profile. From fellow classmates in Kindergarten, classmates throughout the years, kids I used to go to church with, missionary’s kids, to camp kids. Many of which I thought a lot of, disappointed me. My expectations of them through observation were dropped hard. Some I wasn’t so surprised, others, shocked me. Never would I have guessed I would find what I found. I went through 35 girls’ profiles; aging from 13-20, each of which I personally knew. Those who didn’t have a multitude of pins didn’t impress or shock me as much as those who had thousands or more. The more they pinned, the more I learned about them. -1 in 8 featured photos and/or profile pictures of themselves dressed immodestly. -1 in 7 had added ungodly activities to their bucket list. -1 in 7 used foul language, or inappropriate jokes. -1 in 6 had ungodly music on their favorite list. -1 in 4 contained inappropriate books, movies, or TV shows. -1 in 4 contained immodest outfits - that they had obviously worn. -1 in 2... Over half of all the profiles I viewed contained boards (some had close to 20 boards) full of images of guys. Picture after picture, after picture. Then, there were more boards! Two that shocked me the most, both of which are girls that have grown up in church their entire life. One of which I used to go to church/school with. The other, a Pastor’s daughter, I have known for about 6 years. These two contained completely inappropriate movies, books, and photos. One wants to get a tattoo. I did not refrain myself. I asked her “WHY??!!!!”. No response, as of yet. The other, I couldn’t even finish looking through hers. Her board of “Future Guys” (Notice, that’s plural??!!) contained guys, with barely anything on. Does she not know what she’s doing to herself?! These girls, ‘church girls’, play the dating game with passion - more passion than what is given to worshiping or listening to sermons. ‘Crush chat’ is a continual conversation. Every guy is is a potential boyfriend. Every boy is being analyzed by whether they can sing, what they look like or whether they are future husband material. They’re privately being graded on these things. These girls flirt with anyone - and everyone. It’s quite depressing to look into these teen girls’ lives. To take a deeper look into their heart. It don’t want to see it anymore. They’re obsessing over 1D and JB. No, no, no! Practically all these girls have boards of their wedding, or quotes on Love - and/or waiting. (Mine included.) To an extent, Pinterest does hold some ‘guy things’ of mine. *blush* Yes, I have practically planned my wedding, I have boards of quotes, and adored guys fashion (mainly a board of inspiration of fashion for my little brother.). To me, I think that’s natural. Hasn’t every girl planned their wedding? But for other, especially after knowing them, twenty boards of barely dressed men, not so much. Guys are the premise of their lives. Every other word out of their mouth is who likes whom, who’s cute and who’s not. Every week they are ‘in love’ with another guy. They crush on any guy that walks by. “Many of us, if we were honest with ourselves, would admit that we're not really interest in purity at all. Instead,We feel satisfied by meeting the minimum requirements, content with spending our time in the "gray areas," flirting with darkness and never daring to step into the light of righteousness.” (Josh Harris) We esteem purity too little, and desire it too late. Just because something is good doesn't mean we should pursue it right now. We have to remember, that the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing. Sin begins in our minds and hearts. We have to understand purity as a pursuit of righteousness. When we view i merely as a line not to cross, what keeps us from going as close as we can to the edge? Many young adults would have said they are pursuing purity, yet, their attitude and pattern they laid with their life would say the opposite. Today, their ‘Happily ever after” is far from perfect. Why? They viewed it as a line they couldn’t cross. Then, kept getting closer and closer to the edge. It’s not a boundary, it’s a direction. You don't needs to shop for what you cannot afford. Why go shopping when you have no money? Relationships cost; when you aren’t prepared to pay the price, why shop? The timing of many guy-girl relationships is equivalent to going shopping for an outfit when you don't have any money; even if you find the 'perfect fit', what can you do about it? If anything, you’ve only placed yourself into a position for temptation to find you, and you’ll end up stealing something that isn’t yours. When people ask me if I have a boyfriend yet, and I answer no, they ask me why. I politely reply, ‘because I’m not ready to get married yet’. Why drool over the flickering images of dapper dudes on the silver screen? Why swoon over every good-looking guy you come into contact with? Why compare, rate, and save every image of guys... guys you ‘hope your future husband looks like’? For one, your setting the premise of the relationship of physical attraction. What if his looks change? The same goes for a guy. Sure, maybe she’s pretty. But, what happens when she’s fifty? What happens if the outer beauty begins to fade and her age begins to show? What would happen then? Man looks on the appearance, but God looks on the heart. Crushes are fueled by impatience, as are most dating relationships. “If we are discontented with singleness, we'll more than likely face discontentment when we're married. When we define our happiness by some point in the future, it will never arrive. We'll keep waiting until tomorrow. f we allow impatience to govern us, we will miss the gift of the moment. We'll arrive at the point in time we expected to provide fulfillment and find it lacking. God has called me to live now, not four years from now. He wants me to realize my full potential as a man right now, to be thankful for that, and to enjoy it to the fullest. I have a feeling that a single person who is always wishing he were married will probably get married, discover all that is involved, and wish he were single again. He will ask himself, why didn't I use that time, when I didn't have so many other obligations, to serve the Lord? Why didn't I give myself totally to Him then?"- John Fischer Your ‘guy crazy’ (or ‘girl-crazy’) attitude will only rob you of your effectiveness now. Don’t let discontentment rule your life. You must, as this past years’ Camp theme implied, Guard Your Heart. When we picture 'heart', we picture cutesy, red, cutout valentines. But often, if we'd really examine out hearts, we'd find lies, selfishness, lust, envy, and pride. And that's the abridged list It's like discovering your sweet old grandmother's picture on the FBI's most wanted list at the post office. Picture guarding your heart as if your heart were a criminal tied in a chair who would like to break free and knock you over the head. In other words, protect yourself from your heart's sinfulness.Keep a wary eye on your heart, knowing it can do you damage if it is not kept carefully. JER. 17.9 So, quit viewing boys as potential boyfriends, and rather as brothers in Christ. Find your true love in Christ, and be patient. Trust Him. Come on, you’re only 15. Don’t rush.... and don’t crush. You’re only crushing yourself.
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Lizzy parkerMarriage.
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January 2023
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