Summer is upon us again. I am currently trying to make a conscious decision to make writing a priority. There is plenty on my heart, but not much that I have found the proper words to express. I did have other desires for my summer, however the Lord made it very clear where I was to be. Upon returning home, every expected weight was returned as well. It is as if there is a bucket of weighted balls. Each one containing a different label of concern, and they just get dumped out upon my heart. Certainly, I face the same life situations while living in a different state however, it is easier to drag that bucket around and place it aside during moments I need to focus on something else. Basically, it’s life. I am thankful for the calming moments that the Lord has brought about recently to reassure me of this decision. With so many transitions, changes, unknowns, and questions, my anxious heart is left questioning if I am doing the right thing I am doing at times. Coming to the start of my Senior year of Bible College, I am faced with the questions of purpose even more. It appears no matter the circle of people you discuss it with, Bible College is degraded for what it is. I understand the position the remarks come from, though they leave questions that lie heavy on my heart. Is Bible College just a waste of time and money? Why can you not learn what you need to at home? If such an act is so simple and easily attained, then why do I struggle through the process at times? If a degree is in fact handed out so effortlessly, what make it worth anything? Have I simply wasted nearly 4 years of my life? I have addressed what I believe about some of these questions in previous posts. Some, however, find their way lingering in my mind. As I was standing in the grass looking at one of my girls strapped in at the top of the hill getting ready to take the leap on the zip-line, I finally understood something. It went from my mind to my heart and I “got” it. If you have been in church very long, I guarantee you have heard a Pastor or teacher get up on the platform with a chair. The speaker would continue to explain how to sit in the chair, it takes faith. You are consciously or subconsciously trusting in the chair to hold you up. If there were reason to doubt it, you then would hesitate to sit down. You trust in the chair to hold you up because it has proved itself to hold your weight in the past. It is so simple, right? Well, in that moment, I saw myself up there hooked to the wire. Some kids are very fearful of letting go and riding over to the other side, but it is no natural for me. I have no reason to believe it is going to break therefore, I am not anxious while riding down. If I can be so trusting in a metal cable and oversized carabiner, why would I question His ways. Knowing I am doing His will for my life, there is no reason to doubt anything else. Just jump, rest in knowing He prepared the way, and enjoy the ride. A tangible, personal example of faith caught me off guard and dismissed the questions for the rest of the week. He provided me that week with oportuninties to see first hand why I am here for the summer. It is overwhelming and painful at times, but God is good and I am grateful for the time that He has blessed me with. My heart has been broken with a love for those I am coming home to, and the reality of the months to come. I heard the sincere prayers of young hearts, and the silent cries for the Father's presence. I had hour long conversations on the will of God, and tried to comfort the spirit crushed by the cares of this world. All the while, I have felt the whisper, "this is why you are here; this is where you come in." Yet, I feel so helpless and unprepared. It is encouraging to see those in leadership as helpless and unprepared as I am at times. This past year I went through a couple classes entitled, "Youth Philosophy". I walked out of that class unable to give a chapter and verse of why I would do the things I would do or my purpose in youth ministry. However while reading in Psalms ( I haven't been able to stop re-reading it ), a chapter stuck out to me, and I believe I have a chapter and verse to offer now. The entire chapter is fantastic, I encourage you to go read it and meditate on it when you get a chance, but I will simply share two verses for the time being. Psalm 71. 17 - 18, " O God, thou hast taught me from mu youth: and hitherto have I declared thy wondrous works. Now also when I a old and greyheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come." This is the purpose of my life; to declare to the next generation all the wondrous works that He has done in my life. Share His strength and power I have experienced to those behind me. How much better could it get?! To finish, I will leave you with this poem. Summers for some can be rough, I understand. Through every challenge, use it to bring you closer to Him! Refuse to become complacent, and use this time to grow your relationship with your Father. Do you ever find yourself asking God where He's been. Ever get up outta bed saying I can't do this again. Have you ever been afraid of what tomorrow's gonna bring. And you're facing it alone. At least that's what you think. I can tell you after going through that valley, even though I couldn't see it at the time. It was in my weakest moments that he held me. And I know you'll find. He will carry you when you can't go on. He will be your strength when your strength is gone. He... will lift you up. He will be enough to get you through. When the road is long and you wanna quit. Cause you think you've got nothing left to give. You can fall apart, fall into His arms. He will carry you. When you get the kind of news that you'd hope you'd never hear. When you're chasing down a dream just to watch it disappear. When somebody that you loved turns and walks away. And they leave you standing there with shattered faith. You don't have to pick up all the broken pieces. You don't have to try to cover up the scars. you are loved and you can always run to Jesus just as you are.
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Lizzy parkerMarriage.
Motherhood. Ministry. Missions. Archives
January 2023
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