First off, let me just express another reason why you need to marry your best friend. You’re going to need him. Like those nights you want to be in bed at 6 because you're just done. I mean, let's be real, you actually wanted to just stay there all day, but he's patient and he says you can be at 8:30. But then y'all just lay there and pour out your hearts for the next three hours. You need that friend who will give you a little taste of “familiar” when you need it... like firecrackers. That friend who will sit in the car and talk about life because you don’t have the long commute anymore; who will try random taco places because you greatly miss your taco truck; who will listen to the same story over and over because you don't have "your people"; who will rejoice with you over everything that the Lord is doing in your life, and remind you of those things when you are too focused on yourself to see them; Who will tell you its okay not to be okay, and then be there when it's not. You need them, and they need you. I couldn't imagine life without my husband also being my best friend. That was free. :) Now, I could write an entire post - which I will, I'm sure - on how incredible and precious our time thus far has been.
I am so thankful that the past couple years of our life were to some extent characterized by change. Packing everything we owned multiple times a year, moving back and forth between states every four months or so, between jobs, classes, marriage, penny, etc., we learned ways to adjust quickly to the world changing around us. However, I think no matter how resilient you are, you still crave 'normal'. Whatever that entails. You want something familiar; something comfortable. When everything changes all at once, I think its good to know that it's okay to find it difficult to find a new 'normal'. It is okay to find it lonely, or frustrating, or painful at times. Change can be difficult. For all parties involved. It can be lonely. It can hurt. But change is often needful and beautiful. I hold to the One Who holds tomorrow. I believe that He has a plan that far exceeds any expectations of my own. And that at any moment, all that lays heavy on my heart does not lie outside of His care or control. One thing that I was approached with over and over in the beginning was the thought of, "You are not enough." Whether it was my own thoughts, how I felt from others, or actual things that were told to me, these words would slowly creep their way back into my mind. “You are incapable of succeeding.” “You can’t. you’re not good enough." "You don’t know how to do ____. You have no experience. I know all there is to know about ___, but you don’t.” “you are incapable. Insignificant. Incompetent. You are not classy enough, not wealthy enough, not experienced enough. Not knowledgeable enough. Not young enough. Not old enough. Not pretty enough. Not mature enough. Not smart enough." "You're not in control enough. You're not fun enough. You're not outgoing enough. " Every moment seemed to scream, "YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH!” There are still moments that we all must fight this all-familiar battle. Our thoughts return to the same place, and we must suit up to war again. The war of not being enough- Feeling enough; Doing enough; Being enough. This is not an opportunity to rise up and say, “I AM enough”. But rather, I am not enough… that is 100% accurate. I never will be enough. It is a humbling thought to consider how insignificant we truly are. How incapable of doing... anything. How weak, and frail, and sinful I am. But, it's true. It is not my job to be everything to everyone. But He is. Nothing without Him, but everything with Him. No approval is required apart from Him. No expectations or demands must be met aside from what His are for my life. I don’t have to be anyone else except for who He made me to be. I don’t have to measure up to anyone else’s ideas of who I should be, or expectations of who I am. I have no shoes to fill but my own. "The greatest weakness in the church today is that the servants of God keep looking over their shoulder for the approval of men." So you know what, you’re right. I am incapable of succeeding. But plot twist, I am not doing this on my own. "It is not your business to succeed, but to do right; when you have done so, the rest is up to God." John 15:5 “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.”
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Lizzy parkerMarriage.
Motherhood. Ministry. Missions. Archives
January 2023
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